Takin' the Horse By the Reins

You gotta give this girl some credit. She knew what she wanted to do and made it happen. It all started a few years ago, when Ashtin was on a softball team for Clinton City and her team got to be in the Clinton City Heritage Days Parade. Of course, Sydnee wanted to be in it, as well. Every time Sydnee signed up for a softball team, one of her first questions was if they were going to decorate a trailer and be in the parade. Even though, Ashtin was on two different softball teams, in two years, she ended up being in the parade each year. But not Sydnee, all she got to do was watch her older sister go by and collect candy for her in a plastic grocery bag.

Then, she got a wild idea. She asked her Grandpa if she could ride one of his horses in the parade. Sure, no big deal, except she has never rode a horse by herself and she's allergic. However, after a month of one-on-one training with Grandpa, a few minor melt-downs and a case of allergy pills she was ready to go. They enlisted a few others, Grandpa's friend, Dean and Dean's neighbor.

Since she was the instigator of this event, she got to choose the name of their group for the parade program. She chose "The Wild Child and Her Gang". Sydnee was all smiles as she threw out candy to the kids. You may be able to see the misters she had on board for her horse, Geronimo. Later, she said she never used the squirt bottles, she was having too much fun and way too busy.


As you can see from this face, she had a ball. To me, she looks like a sweetie who dreamed big and went for it. You go, girl!

Happy, Happy Birthday Travis!

To the one who gives this family direction . . .


and who we like having around the house . . .


and, of course, the one we can always laugh at . . .


you are the best guy a girl could ever find . . .


I love you, happy, happy birthday!

An Interview with Travis . . . .

Well, I figured since Travis is feeling better, everyone would like to hear from him for a change. I typed up some questions that I thought you might ask if you visited with him for a few minutes.

So, here it goes:

1. You have been home almost 3 weeks now, how are you feeling?
Mentally, I'm great. There is nothing better than being home with my family. Physically, I am still sore from the incisions and the J-tube.

2. Now that the hospital stay is a little bit more in the past, do you think you can talk about it?
I was there too long. The nurses were the best and I'll never forget them. Being there that long I seen people die, it really changes your perspective on living.

3. What was the most challenging part of those long 2 months?
Losing my independence. You can't even stand up without help because of all the tubes, IV's and equipment.

4. Was there anything good that came out of it?
I have a totally different outlook on life.

5. Did you get sick of the same old 3 faces showing up in your room everyday for 65 days?
No, it was hard enough being there, but being there alone would have been awful.

6. After your surgery, what’s been the hardest thing for you?
Building up strength, I lost all muscle tone and stamina.

7. Can we go back to the beginning – how did this cancer crap start?
September 2007, I had trouble swallowing food, with pain in my chest and became nauseous. In October, had an endoscopy that found a cancerous tumor and the journey began.

8. So, as you look in the future a little bit, do you have any big plans?
I don't have big plans, but I treat everyday as a gift. I don't make long term plans.

9. What about work? You want to go back on Monday are you looking forward to it?
Yes, I'm at the point where I need to get my body back into daily routines.

10. So, after all that you’ve been through what’s your philosophy about life’s up’s and down’s? Why do you think this happened? Where do you go from here?
I have never taken my cancer too serious because it would drive me crazy. When I get down I remember that I would rather have cancer than anyone in my family or any child. Life is exactly that, up's and down's, so enjoy with all your soul the up's.

11. And lastly, what’s gotten you through it all?
My loving wife and family. God and I have become very close, we talk daily.

Follow-up

The follow-up appointment with the surgeon went well. Travis is recovering nicely. His chest XRAY and his white blood count were both normal. For the past ten days, we have been diligently counting calories and protein - in order for Trav to maintain his weight he needs 2,600 calories (oh, how would it be?) and around 100 grams of protein per day. His nightly tube feedings provide 1,200 calories and 75 grams of protein. He needs to make up the difference in soft foods. Right now, his favorites are mashed potatoes and gravy, yogurt, juices, and cottage cheese. We also needed to track his blood pressure and heart rate - since Travis did so well on his calorie intake and maintaining his weight (about 180 lbs), he no longer has to count his calories everyday. We go back in one month to schedule a date to get the stent removed which will be around the first of August.

Travis is dealing with some pain issues on his sides, on one side it can be attributed to the thoracic surgery and the nerve endings. On the other side, its the pain from shingles (yes, he has shingles). He has a small patch of them on his belly, they are due from his immunities being low and stress.

He also has neuropathy (numbness on his fingertips and feet). Neuropathy is a side effect to one of the chemotherapy treatments he took last winter. He is going to try some medication to see if that will improve, so he can get back to work.

We do see small improvements everyday. His voice seems to be stronger and he is feeling more like himself. We have to keep reminding ourselves that he was in the hospital for a long time, and its best if we don't rush things.

To a Superwomen

I'm dedicating this post to a new friend that provided me strength and advice when I needed it.


Michelle B. has been battling gallbladder cancer for over two years. Her diagnosis came as a shock when she went in to have her gallstones removed. She went through liver resection surgery, chose alternative treatments and later chemotherapy. She's been through it all! That's why her talks have been so valuable to me.

Michelle and Travis' cases are similiar in that they are both young and were diagnosed with a rare and poor prognosis "statistically" disease. Her quiet determination reminds me of Travis in so many ways. Since I am the caregiver and she is the survivor we often trade stories, each of us getting a peek of what its like being in eachother's roles.

Her message that statistically the prognosis isn't so hot, but there are survivors and it might as well be us, has sustained me through the toughest of times. Even though our common ground isn't the best place, I'm glad to have met her.

Thanks Michelle!

Home is Where His Heart Is

Day 65 - We finally got the great news that Travis was well enough to be discharged from the hospital. We had spent most of the week celebrating each step to coming home. His swallow test on Monday was fantastic, our doctor followed Travis into the room and all the nurses in the ICU gathered around and cheered for him. His NG (nose tube) was removed on Monday, and his chest tube on Tuesday. He started drinking clear liquids and then gradually started with the thicker drinks like milk and the dreaded Ensure. It was also great to see Travis walking the halls without the walker.

On Thursday afternoon, we went for a walk and came back to a decorated room. The nurses had quickly blown up balloons using the oxygen pump and hung streamers. We also received a special card signed by everyone wishing us well. They were all outstanding doctors and nurses and quickly became our friends. They told us they were happy to see us go, but sad that they wouldn't get to visit with us any longer. We are excited to get the surgery chapter of this journey mostly behind us. Things that Travis will not miss would be the daily pokes in the finger for blood work, blood pressure checks and the long nights, just to name a few. I know I won't miss the daily 66 mile round trip to SLC and the rising gas prices!

In the next few months, Travis will be getting his calories and protein from the tube feedings at night, along with a liquid and soft food diet. His doctor would like to see him back in August to remove the stent to be followed by another swallow test to make sure that the leak has healed. We have yet to talk to Trav's oncologist to see if further chemotherapy and radiation is necessary.

For right now, we are settling into a routine again. Focusing on getting Travis healthy again. And looking forward to the future.

How's He Doin'?

How's he doin'? He's doing good. I have an '80's rock song going over in my head, some of you might remember it? Its called "Once Bitten, Twice Shy" by Great White. The lyrics don't go with this situation, and I won't torture you with the song on my playlist. We don't want to jinx anything right now, so I am being pretty guarded. But he's doing good. Praise God.