The Word 'Miss'

Many, many times a day, thoughtful people ask me, "How am I doing?". The short answer is, "I'm doing OK or I'm alright."

There are about two handfuls of people that get the long answer. I'm blessed to have this many close family and friends that I can open up to and say how I am really feeling. But even then, it's hard to find the words.

How do you put into words that you miss someone so much that the word "miss" isn't adequate enough? I've looked in the thesaurus and there isn't a word that describes how much I MISS him.

I miss him when I come home from work.
I miss him when something happens at work.
Or walking down the hallway passed the door where he used to work.
I miss him when I am worried about life.
I miss him when DJ starts talking about college.
I miss him when the dogs do something goofy.
I miss him when I have to go places.
I miss him when I play a Matchbox Twenty song over and over.
I miss him when I fill up the van and reset the odometer.
I miss him when his watch goes off at 5:00 p.m. every night.
I miss him when I get stuff in the mail with his name on it.
I miss him when I have to explain how I am feeling to someone else with great detail.
I miss that sweet way he used to talk to my mom when she called on the phone.
I miss him when I see a welding hat he bought but never got to use.
Or shirts in the closet he never got to wear.
I miss him when I see his lunch box in the pantry.
Or his toothbrush in the shower.

The word miss isn't strong enough for the feeling I get in my heart when these things, plus hundreds or more every day, happen.

The word miss just isn't enough.