Here we go with another holiday that is so different from how it used to be.
Dressing up the kids in their costumes.
Barkley dressed up in his skeleton costume.
Trav taking all of them trick or treating
while I stayed home to hand out candy.
The kids coming home with a pillow case full of treats.
Trav talking about the neighbors he chatted with along the way.
Trav complaining about how cold it was.
The kids spreading their candy on the family room floor
and separating it by type.
The kids giving Travis all the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups that he
wanted because they were, "his favorite."
Trav and I going to costume parties and dressing up.
DJ building a snow fort the day of Halloween
and trick or treaters knocking it down -- and Trav wanting
to beat their a$$ for doing it.
And I can't help but think back to last year on Halloween night. Keith (Trav's dad)and I spent most of the afternoon in the waiting room of the Huntsman Center reading magazines while Travis got his PET scan. I remember telling Keith that I just knew that Travis was going to beat this and everything was going to be fine. Maybe I was being overconfident or maybe I just couldn't imagine life without Trav in it. But it has happened and life hasn't been the same. And still it's hard to fathom that he is not here.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Halloween
Posted by Karianne at 8:51 PM
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3 comments:
Absolutely unbelievable! I remember Trav's first chemo treatment. I think it was just after Halloween and the chemo room had bowls of candy by some of the chairs. Maybe he'd eaten all the Reese's by the time I got there (it was late), because I distinctly remember him eating mini-twix's as we watched the chemo go through the IV. Probably because I remember being grateful that at least he could eat something. Poor guy had been starving for 2weeks. You hadn't eaten anything all day either Kar.
You were both sick with worry but I could tell each of you were confident that Trav would defeat this stupid cancer, so I left you two also thinking we would have him around for years. I never prayed for anything more in my whole life.
And here you are, almost exactly a year later, without him. Trying the best you can to make it through this year of firsts. Why the hell? I haven't stopped asking. I miss your old life too. Love ya!
I continue to ask why as well. It's so unfair and I don't know if there will ever be a reason to satisfy me. I know we have all said it a million times but it just sucks.
You weren't being overconfident. I remember not worrying too much when I left Utah because our family is so blessed, but I also wasn't old enough to know what was going on with Grandpa... it really is unfair I wish everything would have been different as well and that Travis was still with us.
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